I Shall Believe
by heavenly-vixen
Summary: MM - Set after "Off the Menu" from Season 2. Maria is lost, depressed and Tired can Michael help her.{Chapter 2 Now Up} COMPLETED!!!
1. Chapter 1

Title: I Shall Believe  
Author: heavenly-vixen  
E-mail: team_x_4eva@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Michael Guerin, but alas no such luck!  
Description: Set after "Off The Menu" - Season 2. Maria is pissed.  
Author's Notes: This is my little musings on what the writers should have shown between Maria and Michael in that episode. Hope you enjoy it, please feedback would be great.  
  
Chapter One  
  
Maria walked into her bedroom gently closing the door behind her. She wanted to slam it, to pick up the closest thing and throw it at the wall just to watch it shatter into a million pieces. She was angry, make that mad. No actually make that unbelievably hurt. But she pushed down the overwhelming urge to smash everything in the house, the last thing she needed right now was for her mother to wake up and force her to talk about her feelings over a cup of tea. Telling her it would all be all right as soon as she had a cup of tea. She loved her mother, but really, tea!   
  
She sighed, rubbing her neck in an unsuccessful attempt at relieving the tension there. She'd had an extremely rough day. No, that's not right she'd had an extremely tough couple of years, hell even life. But the last couple of weeks and today had just made it unbearable. Maria sat at her desk. She leaned her head on her arms and let the sobs that threatened to wrack her body for hours now escape.   
  
The house was silent but for Maria it was deafening. She kept hearing the same thing over and over again in her head. A little voice kept whispering "I can't take anymore". The voice was familiar, where she didn't know, but it got louder and louder. The day had started off rather normally, but ended any thing but. Then again what is normal when you live in Roswell, New Mexico and know for a fact that Aliens existed? Or that you are 17 years old and you have already had more pain and witnessed more than most people do in their entire life?   
  
She was held at gunpoint today. Which in it's self is bad enough right? But the horrible truths she learned that day, truths maybe she always knew but never wanted to believe they were the worst of it all. She'd tried her best to relay to everyone what was going on without getting herself killed. She gave them clues, obvious clues, ones that if they had known her at all they would have picked up on immediately. They being her friends, her boyfriend or whatever Michael Guerin was to her. Today proved to be quite the eye opener indeed.   
  
She'd always known that everyone thought of her as the loyal, wacky sidekick to Liz. Someone who would put up with all the crap they could dish out. The one that over reacted, the drama queen, the one that didn't matter. There was only one person who never thought of her like that. Alex. What? You were expecting someone else, Michael maybe? No, Alex was the only one who never thought of Maria like that. And now he was gone, thinking of her lost friend Maria couldn't help but cry harder. She needed him so much, but he left her, and whomever it was that took him from her was going to pay. That was for sure.   
  
Today had proved to her that her suspicions were right. She wasn't important to them, she was invisible. They never listened to her, they all completely tuned out as soon as they recognized her voice chopping it up to "oh, it's just Maria, she'll only have something ditzy to say". She wasn't important enough, or good enough to be listened to. She'd always suspected that she wasn't good enough, but she never wanted to believe it. She wanted, she wished that for them she was good enough, just this once, even if she wasn't good enough for her own father.   
  
Finally Maria remembered where she knew the voice. It was her, it was her when she was little. And it was right. She couldn't take anymore, she couldn't keep being invisible, and she couldn't keep being there for others when those same people weren't there for her when she needed them. Alex was the only person who had ever been there, when she was hurting, he held her when she cried, he smoothed her hair down and whispered that everything would be all right. He assured her that he would always be there for her. And now, she needed him again, but he couldn't help her, and there was nothing that she could do to help him. She cried harder, if that's possible.   
  
Maria missed him so much. He wasn't just her best friend, he was family. She thought she'd die when he did, she didn't think she'd be able to keep going, she loved him, loves him so much. But then there was Michael, her saving grace. He made her feel safe again. He held her and took as much pain away as he could. Then today everything they held built was shattered to the ground. Not ever Michael knew her, she was invisible to him, while he was everything to her. There was only four people she ever truly loved. Her mom, Alex, Michael and Liz. Alex was gone now, her trust in Liz and Michael gone too, the only person she had left was her mom. Maria thought about it and decided that was the most pathetic thing she'd ever heard as more tears flowed from her eyes, dampening the sleeve of her shirt even more.   
  
There was nothing else she could do; she didn't have enough strength to do anything but cry. So there she sat, the wacky, up beat Maria Deluca - Teflon girl, crying until she couldn't cry anymore. And they things were going, that was going to be for a very long time.   
  
TBC… 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: I Shall Believe  
Author: heavenly-vixen  
E-mail: team_x_4eva@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Michael Guerin, but alas no such luck! The song is Sheryl Crow's  
Description: Set after "Off The Menu" - Season 2. Maria is pissed.  
Author's Notes: Feedback please!  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Michael Guerin walked the streets of Roswell his hands in is his pockets one thing on his mind. Or should I say one person? Maria Deluca. She confused him more than anyone or anything in the world, yet he'd fallen hopelessly in love with his little pixie girl. He'd never told her, he wanted to more than anything, but he couldn't. He just couldn't make the words come out. She'd scared the hell out of him today. He had to control himself from beating Brody into a coma for putting her in danger like that. And now as he walked the cold streets his destination was clear. He had to check on her, tonight more than ever. Though he'd never admit to anyone, he'd been doing it every night since their trip to marathon, he just couldn't bear the thought of anything hurting her in anyway. So every night he made the short trip to her bedroom window from his apartment and just stared at her sleeping.   
  
Tonight was different though. As he got closer to her house he could sense that something was wrong. He couldn't shake it, something or someone was hurting Maria, his Maria. He saw her house and made a mad dash straight to her window. His fears increasing when he saw a small light emanating from her bedroom window. He crept closer and saw Maria. She was hunched over her desk, alone, he released a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. At least no one was physically hurting her. At first sight he thought she'd just fallen asleep studying or something and couldn't help but think how cute she was when she was sleeping. But then he noticed she was moving, she was shuddering. Oh god no, she was crying. He saw the sobs wrack through her body and moves to tap on her window. Nothing, he taps softly again and hears a sob escape her perfect lips. He winces, the sound causing physical pain. He hated it when she cried, it hurt him more than he'd like to admit, and he'd seen her cry more than she ever should have in her entire life when Alex died, the memory causing a sharp pain in his stomach. He had to help her, console her; he couldn't leave her to cry like that.  
  
Tapping louder this time, obviously successful when Maria pulls her head up. She still sits there a minute; her back turned to him before turning to the window. She saw Michael. Maria turned back to the wall in front of her and roughly wiped the tears away with her fists. She turned and walked towards the window sniffling, trying desperately not to sob in front of him. She opened the window silently and he stepped inside. Michael tried to see her face but she wouldn't look at him. He could feel how much pain she was in and it almost made him want to cry with her. He stood frozen by the window as Maria sat down on her bed. He watched her every move, then again like a knife to his heart more sobs wracked through her small body. His heart was breaking at the sound, so he did the only thing he could. Michael sat down beside her and wrapped her tiny, broken form up in his strong arms. Maria let him hold her for a moment, caught up in the comfort his arms always brought. But was it false comfort? The sudden thought brought her back to reality and she pulled away from him, trying to compose herself but failing again.   
  
"What's wrong Maria?" She almost folded; she always loved the way he said her name. Like she was important, worthy, and even perfect. But he didn't think she was, so she had to stay strong, and not give in no matter how tempting it was.  
  
"I can't do it anymore Michael" She finally met his gaze and he was shocked at what he saw. Her eyes were red and puffy, betraying how long she'd been sitting there crying her heart out. He was really worried now.  
  
"Can't do what Maria?" There it was, the way he said her name. *Be strong Maria*  
  
"I Can't be her anymore, I can't be who you all think I am" She saw the confused look on his face and continued. "I can't be the wacky sidekick, I can't keep being there for people that won't be there for me when I need them, and I can't go on fighting for something that you obviously don't want" She said as another tear fell down her beautiful cheek her voice wavering. Michael leaned up and wiped it away. He hated this.  
  
"What are you talking about?" She knew she must have sounded crazy.  
  
"I can't keep fighting for us Michael, I can't keep fighting to keep us together when you have made it perfectly clear time and time again that you don't want me, that you don't love me. It's too hard and it hurts to much" Michael's eyes grew wide, she couldn't actually believe that.  
  
"That is not true Maria," He said forcefully.  
"Oh yeah? Galaxy Sub with Pepper Jack, Michael" He looked at her confused, and she nodded, her point proven. "You see Michael, you don't even know me, you don't listen to me, like everyone else. No one would care, if I weren't her tomorrow, you all probably wouldn't even notice. After all I'm just wacky Maria. The one no one listens to; the one no one cares about, the one everyone uses when it suits them and throws away just as quick. Even you do it Michael, maybe even the more than everyone else. I'm starting to doubt if I ever meant anything to you at all." Michael's eyes were probably going to bug out of his head they were so wide. She couldn't really believe any of that, didn't she know what she meant to him. Obviously not, well done Michael, you actually made her believe she was what some people thought she was, nothing. He shook his head, this was all wrong.  
  
"I could have died today Michael, I was held at gun point and you didn't even bother to see if I was ok. Do you even care at all?" She looked away from him, not wanting to see the truth in his eyes, that she was right.   
  
"Maria, look at me" Maria hesitantly looked up at him. Michael saw more and more tears flow silently down her cheeks. He didn't know what to say to her, he never was good with words, but he had to make her believe him, he had to stop her heart from breaking.  
  
"You can't honestly believe that" She looked away for a split second then back at him. She kept quiet and he knew she did. "It's not true, not at all. I know you Maria; I've seen you remember? I care about you, more than I ever wanted to admit. Can't get attached right? Well I did, from day one; I was yours to do what you pleased. I…I love you Maria, you hear me? I love you! I am going to fight for you, so don't you think about leaving me now" She looked into his eyes and for once could see right into them, right to his soul.   
  
"Really? You really love me?" He looked at her seriously and took her face in his hands.  
"More than you'll ever know" he whispered. Michael leaned in and softly brushed his lips over hers. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. She saw how much he loved her, and Michael in return saw what he always saw when he looked into her eyes, love. He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. Maria leaned into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his waist, letting him comfort her.   
  
"I'm going to kill Brody! He didn't hurt you did he?" Michael asked still in the embrace. Maria shook her head no. He pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. What he'd ever do if he lost her, he didn't know.  
  
They stayed like that for the longest time before Michael had to sneak out of her room. Maria lay down content on getting some sleep but something still loomed in the air. Something wasn't right. Something was coming, and it wasn't good, that she knew. Whatever it was, she knew she wouldn't have to wait long, so uneasy she waited for whatever was coming to rip her world and her heart in two.   
  
Open the door  
And show me your face tonight  
I know its true  
No one heals me like you  
And you hold the key  
Never Again  
Would I turn away from you  
I'm so heavy tonight  
But your Love is all right  
And I do believe!  
  
------ The End  
  
  
AN: Crappy ending, I know! I couldn't think of another way to end it. I hope you all liked it. Feedback would be greatly appreciated, and thank you all so much for all your wonderful comments. Look out for a sequel of sorts. It's the untold story of Departure. 


End file.
